Ego and BJJ

Christian LeBlanc, PhD.

The Planet Ego

In 1966, writer Stan Lee and artist Jack Kirby published an issue of The Mighty Thor introducing Ego, the Living Planet.  It’s easy to say “a planet that thinks.”  It’s another thing to really understand the ramifications of such an otherworldly creature.   

The idea that a giant planet is named “Ego” always seemed a little discordant to me.  You have this giant entity, and its name is formed with just three letters.  

“Ego”.   

By the door of my Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ) school, there’s a sign.  It says “Leave your ego at the door.” It sounds like it shouldn’t be difficult to leave something so small at the door.  Yeah, there’s a comic book character the size of a planet with that same name, but that’s just fiction.  In real life, our ego doesn’t even have any physical form.  Our real ego can’t be the size of a planet.

Lately, though, it seems like calling a planet “Ego” might be more appropriate than at first glance.  Think of your own ego.  Big or small, it’s kind of hard to escape it, to let it go, and separate from it.  The same as a planet?  No, but both have a certain pull.

Showing up to School

“Leave your ego at the door.” 

It’s good advice.  Anytime you want to learn something, it requires a little bit of humility.  You need to acknowledge you don’t understand something; you need to acknowledge you’re not an expert on something.  You probably need to acknowledge that you’re not even good at something.  

It’s been said that the hardest belt to get is your white belt. It takes courage to get off your couch, go to a Jiu-Jitsu school, and acknowledge you aren’t good at something.  We all know how hard it can be to try something new.  Even once I started looking into studying BJJ, there was still a little voice inside me saying that I didn’t need to actually go.  I could say I looked into it, but it wasn’t for me. 

Heck, once I went to the school, I still might not like it.  Luckily, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu is for me, and I do like the school.

But that’s not the end of the humility.  That’s not the end of the challenge.

The challenge is to leave your ego at the door.

At some point you showed up for the first class.  You admitted you were a beginner, and started at the bottom.  That’s great.  You’ve taken that first step, and you got that white belt.  Now what’s next?  What happens when you come back to the next class?  What happens when things get tough?  What happens when you can’t grasp a concept?  What happens when you go to grapple, apply what you’ve learned, try your best, and still lose?  What happens when you try over and over again and you feel like you aren’t getting anywhere?

There’s an answer that’s right in front of you; all you have to do is keep showing up, but this is where ego can get in the way.  

Voice of the Ego

This is when your ego can keep you from growing, from making progress.  If you bring your ego into BJJ class, your skin won’t be the only thing that gets bruised, and sooner or later that bruised ego is going to start telling you these lessons aren’t worth it.  

Now it might feel like your ego is speaking in a planet-sized voice, telling you it’s not worth it.  You don’t need BJJ or the aches and pains that come with learning and losing.  You don’t need to keep losing or keep hearing about what you don’t know.

When your ego starts talking like that, how are you going to handle it?

Do you have the courage to humble yourself, ask someone to teach you what you don’t know, and admit that it won’t be easy?

Do you have the courage to lose?

Do you have the courage to come back?

Do you have the courage to do it again and again?

Conclusion

As adults, we’re kind of used to confidence and knowing.  There’s a security in that, but if you can let that go, if you can actually leave your ego at the door, you can begin to grow.  You can learn new things and expand your knowledge.  You can become even more confident as you master BJJ, but you’re only going to do that if you can humble yourself, lose, come back again, lose again, and try to learn something each time.

As strong as that ego may seem, leave your ego at the door; you’ll already be doing plenty of grappling on the mat.