Unplugging the Headphones and Connecting With Something New

“But what about my music?”

That was the question in my mind.  I stared at the website.  All I had to do was click the “Contact

Us” button or the “Free Trial” link. 

“20000LeaguesJiuJitsu.com” offered me a chance to get back in shape, a chance to learn self-defense, and a chance to build confidence.  I wanted all of those things, and I knew a traditional gym could help me with at least some; lifting weights and running on the treadmill can do a lot.  I’d seen the difference it made in my life, but Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu seemed like it could make a bigger difference; maybe it could be everything I wanted. More than that, here was a BJJ school close by. 

I could reach out and take a class.

“But what about my music?”

I kept thinking about this.  Hitting the gym was more of a solitary experience.  Once I was through those gym doors, I could put my headphones on, and for just a little while it was just me, my music, and the workout.  It was something I could look forward to each day.  In a world where the daily schedule seems dominated by so many commitments, where it seems like there’s never enough time for anything, the oasis of the gym was something I could rely on.  It was a place I could visit knowing I would have some time to listen to my music, podcasts, or audiobooks as I worked out.

Maybe Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu would be a better workout, but I wouldn’t have that chance to just lose myself in my music, to isolate.  Sometimes, after a long day of work, I want that isolation.  I don’t feel like I have it in me to talk to other people.  I just want to be alone with my workout, and if I started BJJ, I’d be taking that protective layer of isolation away while I worked out.

I really had to weigh this. 

In the end, I decided the possibility of missing a little more time with my music wasn’t a good enough reason to avoid trying Jiu-Jitsu.  I showed up one night, no headphones, just a bag with my gi.

It’s been a revelation. 

It’s easier than ever before to isolate, to stay in a protective shell, to build your own world and live in it, shutting out the stimulation from outside.  Privacy, time to ourselves, these are all important things, yes, but when studying Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, I’m exercising with other people. I’m listening to the teacher, applying the technique with a partner, and getting feedback from both my coach and fellow students.

It’s other people.  It's a genuine human connection, and this is just the start of it.  It’s socialization.  It’s trust.

When practicing techniques, I’m trusting my partner will take care of me.  Every time we roll, I’m trusting the person I’m rolling with will stop when I submit, will understand that I’m giving up, and will release me from their hold. This is the kind of trust you can’t get when you keep your headphones on. 

When I was learning about lifting weights, I always kept in mind a quote from Arnold Schwarzenegger. “ When you are working out, there is always the reality of the cold iron in your hands. Either you can lift it, or you can’t: reality.”  There’s something comforting about exercise that is so straightforward.  Jiu-Jitsu isn’t like that. 

I’m not going up against an inanimate thing.  I’m going up against another person.  They are just as dynamic as I am.  Often, they’re stronger, faster, or at least more experienced.  This isn’t just a piece of metal; the metal doesn’t want anything for you or for itself.  This is another human being, and training with them just can’t be done in isolation.  The only way to really train is to really have a human connection in that workout, and that involves putting down the headphones.

“But what about my music?”

It’s still there.  My music never went away, and there are plenty of times I can still listen to it.  That’s one thing that’s been so great about BJJ.  It’s shown me I can disconnect from my devices, go beyond the walls, leave the bubble and have real human interactions while I work out.  I can always come back to my music later.  It’s no longer me, my music, and the weights.  It’s me and other people, and we’re learning, joking, and laughing.  We’re sharing in each other’s triumphs and defeats. We’re all there, growing as martial artists and as a people.  That’s an experience I can’t get with weights or the treadmill.

Giving up my music for an hour seems like a fair tradeoff.  If anyone out there is considering trying Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, just remember your music isn’t going anywhere.  It’ll still be there when you get off the mat, but those experiences and relationships you’ll build will be something that will last far beyond any album, podcast, or audiobook.

–Christian Leblanc, PhD